How do grief journals help?

I have always written user manuals and instructional content, but something random like this is a first for me.

If I have written something outside work, then it is only a grief journal – comes in handy when I cannot handle pain, cannot articulate it, or don’t want to share it with anyone. Even though it was unnecessary, I tried to analyze why do I do what I do and how does it help. This is my theory on why do I do it:

• I don’t want to be ridiculed
• I may go ranting for hours and end up consuming someone’s emotional bandwidth allocated for me
• It is my journal and no one cares about what I write
• I am not required to send it for an editorial review🤦‍♀️
• I don’t want to open up about my insecurities to anyone. I’d like to have that space just for me.
• I need some time where am not given advice, or not retrospect what could have been wrong, or what could be done to rectify a situation. Maybe I screwed up, but I’d rather not hear it out loud at the moment from someone else. Even if it is too much to handle, I’d like to do it myself.

We have social pressures to be strong all the time, breaking down could mean that we are weak and it may make us seem vulnerable to exploitation. I strongly believe that it is completely fine to be emotionally unavailable and I don’t have to put up a brave face all the time. At the same time, it is not required that I put a banner on my head that says am emotionally unavailable right now.

That is when writing a grief journal helps me and here is how:

• It is like a friend to me. However, a friend wouldn’t react when I say “Alright am done ranting, you may go and forget about everything I just said”.
• The best part is I can shred it off when am done. If I was in a bad mood, I don’t have to be ashamed of how I vented out.
• Relieves me from anxiety.
• Gives me an opportunity to self-learn, and clarity to retrospect the situation.
• In the end, my mind seems settled and clear to move on to the next thing that needs my attention.